This last year may have been a year of huge achievements, strides and growth. It may also have been a year when things didn’t go as expected, or you experienced difficult things. You may have set enormous goals for yourself but didn’t reach them. That is normal, and most people had a year of highs and lows and set themselves New Year’s resolutions that didn’t come to reality.
This post will discuss how to set realistic goals, feel positive about achievements you did or didn’t reach and build a better you for the new year. It’s hard, but breaking these down into small, manageable steps can help.
New Year’s Resolutions
Most people you know will set New Year’s Resolutions without plans or a way to monitor or achieve them. One foolproof way to check in with yourself and your goals and set realistic ones is to set SMART goals.
SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. They allow you to write clear, attainable, and meaningful goals. Clarity in goal setting provides the motivation and focus you need to succeed.
S - Specific: What will you achieve? What will you do?
Your goal should be clear and specific; otherwise, you won’t be able to focus your efforts or truly feel motivated to achieve it. When drafting your goal, try to answer the five ‘W’ questions:
What do I want to accomplish?
Why is this goal important?
Who is involved?
Where is it located?
Which resources or limits are involved?
M - Measurable: What data will you use to decide whether you’ve met the goal?
How much?
How many?
How will I know when it’s accomplished?
A - Achievable: Are you sure you can do this? Do you have the right skills and resources?
How can I accomplish this goal?
How realistic is the goal, based on other constraints, such as financial factors?
R - Relevant: Does the goal align with your values? How will the result matter to you?
Relevant goals can answer ‘yes’ to these questions:
Does this seem worthwhile?
Is this the right time?
Does this match our other efforts/needs?
Am I the right person to reach this goal?
Is it applicable in the current socio-economic environment?
T - Time-bound: What is the deadline for accomplishing the goal?
A time-bound goal will usually answer these questions:
When?
What can I do six months from now?
What can I do six weeks from now?
What can I do today?
How do I write a SMART goal plan?
Write down precisely what you need to accomplish
to quantify your goals. Build in milestones.
Write how it will improve your life or career,
Write down how you will know when you have reached your goal. Have a firm schedule and stick to it.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a coping strategy that can transform one’s perspective and break the vicious circle in which negative thoughts lead to more physical symptoms.
How to practice positive self-talk:
Discover what you are thinking.
Working out exactly what we’re thinking can be challenging when we experience numerous thoughts that flash very quickly. A diary sheet of your thoughts might be helpful to bring more clarity. You can find templates that are freely available by searching for them on the internet. Completing a thought diary can help bring greater mindful awareness to your thoughts.
Challenge the rationality of your thoughts.
The more stressed you become, the more your thinking patterns will likely become distorted. It is helpful to question your thoughts. Could you exaggerate? Or, might you be thinking in black-and-white terms? The simple process of writing down your fears and worries can provide some perspective on your thoughts.
Rewrite your negative thoughts and make them positive.
- When you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, your thinking can become less distorted. You can carry the positive challenges on index cards or your phone for easy reference. Positive self-statements could include the following: "I can tolerate anxiety, as I have managed it many times before,” "I coped with that experience, and it should be easier next time,” or "I know that I am going to be okay.”
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